summer time

College is officially over and for the first time in my life i really have nothing to do. Luckily, I have found that I am quite capable of keeping myself busy, as long as it is not raining. Sadly, all it seems to do lately is rain. Nevertheless I played outside in the rain today and it was fabulous.

In other news, grey's anatomy's season finale made my heart hurt. I need to stop being such a girl. I've never been good at admitting that I have feelings or talking about them with people. Sharing my feelings has always been a sign of weakness for me. I supposed everyone has them, so it's not that strange to share them with others. Once again, I have no idea where I am going with this. Sometimes I guess that it just seems easier to be a boy then a girl. Less drama, less talking = more fun...

On that note, im going to bed.

and ok

Such a girl. I am officially moved on. Slightly embarrassed about what i wrote before but o well...it helps if i just get it out. I pretty much have the easiest life ever right now. Today was awesome.

woke up about 7:00ish
ate a nice free breakfast at my parents house
took a karate final (he gave everyone in the class an 'A')
ran 3.5-4 with lindsay and travis
went to may last lecture EVER
went on a mission to find the CS trophy
came home and ate free lunch
took a nap
sent some e-mails
helped make dinner

wow. i have essentially done nothing. I did, however, learn that i was preapproved to buy up to XXX,000 worth of a house. thats exciting. I need to contact the realtors tomorrow.

I just need to finish up studying for intl. finance final and my day will be complete.

love my life.

blah

IT FRICKIN' WON'T STOP RAINING!!!

I can't stand being inside any longer. It has rained literally the last 48 hours straight. I need to go outside. It helps me think. I woke up at 10:24 today!!!! WTF! i never sleep in that late, i wasn't even up late! Now all i can think about it taking a nap and sleeping more because i LITERALLY have nothing to do. GRRRR. I have spent a ridiculous amount of time on facebook, aim and blogs. I am so bored, but at the same time I dont feel like calling anyone up and doing something because that would require showering.
I can only imagine what mothers with small children are doing with all this rain. I cant spend anymore time inside with nothing to do. I am starting to pace around the house. I cant stand watching anymore movies...i get bored about halfway through them. I wish someone would e-mail me with something to do. But nope. Nooooo e-mail today. I am officially sick of being retired and without things to do. I must do something and fast. this is such a waste of a life!

TREADMILL?

i just don't know

i thought i had myself figured out. now i am not so sure. i'm really confused about what i want in my life. i have way too much time to think about it these days too. i need something to keep me occupied. i have tried but it is getting really difficult. i am actually getting a little worried about myself.

Fargo

Tomorrow I am going to Fargo with Greg and AZ. It will be interesting. More to come.

April 9th!?!

I can't believe it is already April. I haven't posted in over two weeks.
Anyways, I decided to go on the high school tour after all, and I am so happy that I did. The kids at west Fargo high school are ridiculously amazing people. I am proud to say I know each one of them. We traveled from west Fargo to mpls, to Madison, to Elgin, to Chicago. I think one of the highlights of the trip for me was being able to see my brother in chi-town. He's such a great kid and brother. I love him to death. He at dinner with the group and then we all went to tour the sears tower at night. I haven't been up there in forever. It is an amazing view, especially at night.
I could sit here and write about the stories, inside jokes and service projects we did, but I have an audit test tomorrow. I must study!

it's soo soo good to be home!

Pay it Forward

And I'm back. WOW, what an amazing trip. I am very thankful that I went on the trip. It was challenging emotionally and physically but an incredible experience. I had no idea what to expect but was pleasantly surprised by the group bonding and service projects. The devastation in the gulf coast is unimaginable. I cannot express in words how many people's lives were affected by the hurricanes.

The trip really made me open my eyes and be thankful for what I have and the people in my life. STLF is an excellent organization; I only wish I would have gotten involved sooner. I am actually considering leading a high school bus this upcoming Wednesday-Sunday. My parents think I'm crazy, but I think it would be so much fun and I am so "on fire" about this group that it would make it would be a blast.

There is so much I could say about this trip, but I really want to keep this short.

Good night to all!

Abby

I make myself laugh

I wrote this e-mail to my prof. Reading it a week later makes me laugh...as does her respone:

Hi Sheryl,

So, I know that this is very late notice, but I didn't think It would hurt to ask..so here it goes. :)

I very recently found out that I there was a spot that opened up on the Pay it Forward tour for the week of March 17th to the 25th. The Pay It Forward Tour is basically a nine day community service road trip to Washington DC in which you stop in several cities along the way doing community service projects. It was started by a few Carlson students (who happen to be very good friends of mine) in 2003. It's really quite an impressive student group that really just wants to do some good in the world over spring break -- a time when many of our peers are doing the exact opposite. Here's an exert from their website:

"Since it's start, Students Today Leaders Forever (STLF) have successfully expanded in size and scope to include 7 college-based chapters on campuses throughout the Midwest, as well as a chapter at West Fargo High School. Recently, STLF has become a recognized nonprofit organization by the state of Minnesota and has developed a national office based out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Pay it Forward Tour has gone from one bus of 43 students in our inaugural year of 2004, to four buses of 150 people in 2005. In 2006 it will consist of 8 buses and as many as 350 people traveling to our nations capital, collectively volunteering in nearly 40 cities this spring break. The Pay It Forward Tour has impacted hundreds of student participants, and thousands of others in communities across the country, and the movement has only just begun. " (www.stlf.net)

Because of swimming, I have never had the chance to participate or support my friends and honestly this is my last chance to experience what they spend so much of their time in college working on. I also feel like this is also my last opportunity to do a big community service event like this because I am graduating in May and then I starting work at Ernst and Young as an auditor. Not to be cynical, but we all know how much free time public accountants have. :(

I really enjoy doing community service work and being able to take this trip would allow me one more opportunity to do so. I know our midterm is the 23rd, but I would even be willing to learn the material early and come in over spring break and take the midterm. Believe it or not, swimming really doesn't allow me the time to do thing like this. This is something that I really want to do and actually have the chance to do. (hopefully, the length of this e-mail is making you realize that) I'm a good kid, that just wants to help some people out and as STLFer's would say, "change the world." Before you make a decision, I would highly recommend checking out their website..the vision and history is especially good, what STLF has accomplished is really quite amazing. I guess this is just my plee and hope that you will understand.

Thanks for considering it,


Abby


Abby,

Yes... It seems like a very worthwhile thing for you to do, I know you are a "good kid", and I know very well the demands of competitive sports on your time. So, go, enjoy, and make the world better off!

Two things: 1) scheduling your exam: talk to me after class today. My inclination is to have you take it on the Monday after the exam, which would be March 27th. Let me know if this works and we can figure out a time.

Second thing:2) after you graduate: I would strongly encourage you to try to volunteer even when you are working at E&Y! There are a lot of good organizations you can work with and a lot of things you can do that might not be a huge amount of time. Volunteering as an adult literacy tutor, working with kids swim teams at the Y... Anyway, just my encouragement on that front, as someone who has squeezed in various volunteer and civic commitments over the years!

SWS

grrrr

I feel awful. Amy's birthday was yesterday and I forgot, completely, until today. I scrambled to make her a birthday card...but I still feel bad. I wish I could express mail it to her or something.

On a happier note, I leave today for week 2 of spring break. I think I am more excited that I am missing school, than actually going somewhere. LOL

Peace out.

Spring Break 3

I had a realization last night;

It's kind of sad. After an attempt to set up a senior sleepover at my house, we ended up at 410 with only two of us sleeping over. I honestly felt like no one wanted to be there. We sat around and watched two movies; No one asked about what each other were up too, even how each other are doing. It is like we know each other so well, that we are uninterested in each other and almost dislike each other. I was excited for this sleepover because I had set it up and I really wanted to catch up with my friends. Apparently no one else was into it. I was disappointed and then I realized that I shouldn't be. Despite the fact, that since freshmen year, these people have given me crap about being conservative and not drinking etc., I have tried my best to be their friend.

I guess my realization is that I don't have to be friends with any of them anymore, unless I want too. We used to be teammates; now we aren't. In fact we really don't have much in common. It almost felt like six strangers sitting around a TV last night. I don't know why they are uninterested, but I know I'm going to stop feeling guilty about it. I'm not saying, "I don't need them, or even that I don't want to be friends with them anymore." I just...am not going to feel guilty about the status of our friendship.

I don't think I'm getting my point across very well.

O well.

ME

ISTJ. In case you were wondering.


responsible, planner, private, loner tendencies, perfectionist, organized, detail oriented, organized, would rather be friendless than jobless, realistic, observer, clean, focused, does not talk about feelings, finisher, punctual, private, does not appreciate strangeness, not adventurous, not spontaneous, follows the rules, dutiful, avoids mistakes, conventional, likes solitude, insensitive to the hardships of others, prepared, anti-tattoos, things rules are important, cautious, security seeking, prepares for worst case scenarios, logical, analytical, does not accept apologies easily, hard working

Spring Break 1

I need a hug.

I'm not sure why. Mostly, I just need to feel loved. There are two bad things about this feeling:

1. I won't do anything about it. I'll sit here and blog instead.
2. I feel guilty that I need/want a hug.

I take way to much pride in my ability to be self-sufficient. I have always struggled at asking for help, and apparently receiving a hug when I need one, represents that I can't do everything myself.

Anyways, changing the subject.

I officially am skipping as second week of school for the Pay it Forward tour. I'm on the bus that Jenny is leading and am really excited to spend some time with her. It makes me nervous to take that much money out of my down payment savings. However, it's for such a good cause that I feel like God will make it up too me. It's not like I'm just blowing the money on something really materialistic, it's for charity!!! Aghhh. It just makes me really nervous.

Moving on, I am having a spring break sleepover. My parents just don't know about it yet. I already told everyone they could come over on Monday night. Ooops. I just am waiting for the "right" moment to ask them. They didn't seem to happy that I texted them at 1:30am yesterday to tell them I was sleeping on campus. It is just a frustrating situation. I feel like they don't trust me, my mom asked if, "I was as drunk as a skunk." And they think I'm being very inconsiderate if I don't call and check in. I just wish that they would trust me more. It is really the only downfall to living at home. They live is such a bubble, I feel like they have no idea how "conservative" of a kid I am.

grrrr.

reflecting

I have been having this overwelming urge to write these days. I just haven't had a chance to get around to it. I'm starting to realize how relaxing of an activity it really is. I am really starting to enjoy writing. As long as I can remember, it was always a chore. I'm not sure what has changed.

-too busy to write anymore.

13 days and counting...

I almost lost it last night. Mary and KT Proell swam their last race ever - the 200 br. Watching them finish then hug and start crying in the water was almost too much for me to handle. I think it hit home for me because I realized that my swimming career would end just like theirs - in a 200 breaststroke. It is fitting though, and almost symbolic that I end my career with the event that has caused me the most pain and joy. The 200 breaststroke has always been "MY" event and it seems so appropriate to end with it. It is finally starting to sink in: life as I have know it for the last 10+ years is about to change. It will be strange to wake up the next morning and be done. No weights, no morning practice, no coaches, no teammates. All of it will be gone. Cecile put it best in her away message this morning:

I woke up this morning with tears running down my face...

a $199 nap.

Sometimes during the day, I will have these "blog" moments. I think of something random and then think, "I should blog that." I suppose it is because there is really no point to the thought other then my amusement by it. Anyways, two "blog" moments of the day:

1. I should rename or at least have a series of blogs entitled "what I learned today." I'm sure why I think this is such a great idea, but I guess it's because everyday you learn something new. No matter how insignificant the thing is...you still learned about it. There could be some interesting stories in there. Somewhere. I think...ya...anyways...

2. My $199 nap. I looked up what type of couches are in the team room because my naps on the team room couches are simply: amazing. There is no other way to describe them. I found that I could buy a Klippan loveseat (and therefore amazing naps) at ikea for $199. It might be worth it, seriously considering buying one for a bed.

in the words of the keebler house girls:

peace out.

interesting

Facebook is evil. I just spent way too much time looking at pictures and reading profiles. I didn't realize how much time I actually wasted until now. Oops. Anyways, I can across some people that I had met about a two years ago that are now married. They are currently seniors and are married. I kind-of just hit me: people my age are getting married.

It's not really that scary to me, I'm rather indifferent about the whole thing. Actually, it make logical sense. I could easily see myself getting married now that college is about over and I have a job. It almost make life a little less scary...Knowing someone will be there to tackle it with you. Though, I suppose I would need to find a boy for that to happen.

Which by the way, really bothers me. I don't understand why people get so upset about finding a boy or not having a boyfriend. Statistically speaking, there really is no reason to worry. The majority of adult Americans have been married...at least once. I guess I've always trusted that God would help me find the right guy. Yes, boys are nice...but unless he's the right one, I am really quite content with being single.

Perhaps I am too independent to relate to this need of "having someone." Or perhaps I just suck at relationships. Either way, I can guarantee I won't spend valentines day/"single-awareness day (SAD)" feeling sorry for myself like half the the college female population. Honestly, that's just plain stupid.

life.

Busy, Busy, Busy. How can life go from so relaxing to so busy so fast?!

Actually, I think it is called College.

Classes are in full swing now, along with all other activities. After much deliberation I've decided not to drop any classes. A-term is completely full. I was explaining my schedule to Laura in Tax 2 last night, and she said, "how do you keep up with classes?" I laughed.

I don't think I have ever felt like I have been "keeping up" with classes. Mostly I just try not to fall too far behind.

On that note...I should go study some Audit.

The end

It's officially the beginning of the end. My last semester of school has started and senior night is tomorrow. I'm ready to be done but I'm also ready to enjoy the end. I was supposed to put together my senior bio for tomorrow, but I haven't finished it yet. I'm really struggling and I'm not sure why. There are a lot of people that I want to thank, but I just don' t know what the right thing to say is. This is what I have so far:

I want to thank my parents for being so dedicated to something that I love to do. Thank you for driving me to all those 6 am practices, attending hundreds of hours of swim meets and for your unconditional love and support. I could have not have done it without you.

I want to thank all my Coaches: Jean, Terry, and Kelly, for their encouragement both in and out of the pool. You all have helped me discover who I am, and taught me to believe in myself.

Thank you to my teammates - past and present for the all the memories. I am a better person for knowing each one of you.

Thank you especially to this year's senior class. You are all such gifted and motivated women. Four years ago, I could have never imagined how close we all would become. Thank you for the laughs, the hugs, and your friendship. You mean more to me than you could imagine.

that might have to do. :/

hawaii time

I am still on hawaii time and I slept till about 11:00 today. Tomorrow 6:30 weights are going to seem early. 2:30AM hawaii time in fact. Wow.

goals for 06

Home at last.

Hawaii and training trip was wonderful as usual. I always forget how long we are gone for. It seems like I miss so much of the holidays. The Christmas decorations were taken down before I got home. I didn’t even make it to midnight on new years. We were too tired to stay up for the fireworks. Pathetic, I know. Despite my new year’s “celebration”, I’ve decided to participate in making some new year’s resolutions. I’ve never been really big on Resolutions; I always believed anytime is a good time to set goals for yourself. I mean why wait till January to start something? However, this year is going to bring a lot of change. Therefore, there are several things I would like to focus on.

1. Be less serious.
In my meeting before training trip, Kelly asked me if I felt incredibly mature compared to the rest of the team. He said that I act like and think about that most adults don’t think about till they are in their late twenties or early thirties. Although, he was mostly talking about my ability to plan for my future, I realized that most people would say I act a lot older than I am. I not implying that it’s a bad thing that I’m so focused. I just want to make sure that I don’t miss out on fun.

2. Read a book a month.
Over training trip I read more books than I have in a long time. I miss reading. There are a lot of good books out there that I should be reading and would enjoy reading. I think a reasonable goal would be a book a month.

3. Use the Phone.
I have this strange phone phobia. I really don’t like calling people and talking on the phone. I have gotten much better at returning calls, but I sure could use some improvement. This resolution includes calling up friends…just to talk. This is so much harder for me then it sounds. The curse of the introvert...

4. Train consistently.
I want to win a triathlon (or at least my win my age group) this summer. It is very possible, but it will take a consistent effort on my part. Working out alone has always been harder for me than working out with other people. In addition, this year will be my first without swim practice. I need to embrace exercise as a lifestyle, and learn how to structure it into my life as so.